Click on the camera below for a sample presentation of Dr. Bird- "The Jerk Whisperer"

This site devoted to the influence of character, kindness, and peaceful relationships.  Mindful people are making a difference in the lives of others everyday. 

School Prejudice-

How Can I Stop It?

Dear Dr. Bird,
I am a junior in High School and I've become more and more frustrated with what is happening in my school.  I once heard one of my teachers say to me, "Sometimes it feels like the inmates are running the asylum."  Well Dr. Bird, I am beginning to feel the same way and it seems like the adults out there are not doing anything about it.  What I am talking about is all the prejudice and hate that I hear from students.  They have these little cliques that seem to get away with everything.  The popular kids are some of the worst.  They will make racial comments and say horrible things about other students, and the biggest prejudices lately seem to be "You are so gay!" or any student who seems to look like they are from the Middle East, they get all kinds of horrible comments.  It didn't seem that bad when I was younger, but now it seems worse.  Why is this happening? And, how can I get the adults to do something about it?

Sincerely, Angry Student

Dear Student, 

Thanks for writing, I think it takes courage to recognize the problem and sometimes even more courage to do something about it.  I don't think that these are easy issues to tackle but I applaud you for recognizing them and wanting to take action.

First of all, Why is this happening?  Keep in mind that the most prejudiced people among us, are also the most insecure.  When you were younger, it probably wasn't such a big deal to think of hanging around with people who are different from you.  Now, however you probably notice that the cafeteria is filled with certain groups that only associate with each other.  I don't want to be too judgmental of those students, we all find security in our groups.  It becomes harmful when the group believes they are superior to others. When you hear these horrible things from your fellow students, keep in mind that what they say often has less to do with fact, and more to do with their fears and insecurities.  These people are found in all ages and in all kinds of groups.  They believe that their value is increased whenever they can convince themselves that someone is a lesser human being than they are.  In many ways we should feel sorry for these people because the only fuel they have in life is hate.  They are too insecure to realize that if they let their guard down, they would find they have a lot more in common with the people they are trying to bring down.  In the end, their statements are ones of fear for themselves.  It doesn't matter where they learned them (parents, friends, etc.) it's a statement of insecurity.

Second, I want you to go back and read what you wrote, "How can I get the adults to do something?"  The bottom line is this- you may not be able to get them to do anything.  As you are becoming an adult, keep in mind that the greatest force we will ever know is that of a democracy, and groups of courageous people are more powerful than insecure individuals who want to dominate others.  Great changes in our country were made by groups of citizens who were unafraid to stand up.  The students in your school are the ones who will make the greatest changes.  Some schools have made huge changes with initiatives that were created by students.  

This leads me to my last point- stay true to yourself.  If you are passionate about these prejudices, keep up the effort.  Most of us know the right thing to do- the tough part is doing it.  I'm going out to visit a school this week to talk to students about prejudice and character.  Why am I going there?  Did the adults ask me to come?  No, several students approached the board and said, "We have some concerns and we want to try to take some initiatives for change."  The students made efforts to arrange the entire day- again, it's citizens who make the changes and I applaud them for their efforts.

There's a lot of pressure in this world to conform to others.  Listen to your heart and keep up the effort.  If it's the right thing to do, then keep doing it.  In the end you will be able to live a life you are proud of.  For those students who express their prejudices, it's a statement about their shallowness, and a statement about their intolerance.  

Best of luck, it's your school, and your future, and it's worth it.

Best wishes, Dr. Bird

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Last modified: November 17, 2008