This site devoted to the influence of character, kindness, and peaceful relationships. Mindful people are making a difference in the lives of others everyday.
This site devoted to the influence of character, kindness, and peaceful relationships. Mindful people are making a difference in the lives of others everyday. |
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Dear Dr. Bird - Question of the Week What is Character? Dear Dr. Bird, I was in the audience when you spoke this summer at Mt. Shasta in California. You mentioned that you don’t define “character” the way many other people do. You said that a person can be neurotic and still have character. What did you mean by that? Sincerely, (Sometimes) Neurotic in California
Dear Neurotic, Thanks for your question! It was a pleasure to meet your group of college bound students this summer. In fact, it was an honor to be able to be in a room with so many people of such fine character. If your group of college students are the ones who will build our future, I am thrilled, because this world will definitely become a better place if it’s left in your hands! In regard to your question about being neurotic, don’t worry, join the club! I consider myself a part of a group I call the “Normal Neurotics.” In other words, I believe that character isn’t always measured by how we feel. There are a lot of people who may experience stress, depression, and anxiety, and it has nothing to do with their character. I know some people that experience a lifetime of distress and they still have a lot of character. Character is measured by the things you add to this world. Tabloids will tell you that “popularity” is the virtue you should pursue. Unfortunately, you can have attention, a group following, money, and stardom, but still not have any character if you are not making the world a better place. Character is exercising your ability to ease another’s pain, to be kind in a hostile world, and to practice the virtues you would like to see in the world. Character is a selflessness that is distinguished by integrity, ethics, and morals. In fact, some of the most caring and compassionate people I know are often emotionally troubled because they can feel other people’s pain. Another component of character is self-worth (which is different than self-esteem). You have to believe that what you are doing is important, and believe that you have value in this world. You can’t teach or give away something you don’t have. This is why it’s important to be proud of all the things you do to help others. Having self-worth and self-love can also take courage (which is another attribute of character). We need to have the courage to deal with the bullies and the injustices of life. A coward complains, a person of character acts. We can’t be hypocrites by claiming we care and be a bystander at the same time. Finally, a true indicator of character is the ability to laugh at yourself and let go of petty resentments that may occupy your thoughts. Resentment is bottled hate. Let it go, and give away a smile. Love, kindness, and compassion are the only things we know that we can create an abundance of it from nothing (it costs you nothing), we can give it all away, and still have just as much as when we started. Best wishes, give yourself a break if you are sometimes feeling unsettled and neurotic, it’s a daily thing for me. But I choose to be a happy nut rather than a miserable nut. Take care, Dr. Bird |
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